The Moses Conundrum
I have always had mixed feelings toward Moses. While recognized as a great prophet in all three monotheistic faiths, he strikes me as being both spineless and incredibly brave. God makes the effort to appear to him and audibly speak to him through a burning (but not consumed) bush and he has the bravado to argue. God chooses him and he questions himself. Is his doubting not with good reason though? After all, his heritage was that of a slave raised in the house of the Pharaoh. He murdered an Egyptian, fled as a refugee, and by his own confession was not the most eloquent. However, despite this less than spotless resume, God saw something in Moses that Moses could not see in himself.
In reading through Exodus this time, I am finding much more sympathy for Moses. I stand before my own burning bush questioning God. There is no visible bush on fire, but the next closest thing that I have experienced. A prayer for God to show me the way forward found an answer literally less than five minutes later. A clear path forward presented itself leaving little to do but to follow. And yet the doubts arose as quickly as the path was laid. Am I really capable to take this on? What about my family? How can I be a good mother and a good pastor? Am I well spoken enough to pastor in a second language? Do I have to take my shoes off? As you know God, you did not bless me with most attractive feet. Now we digress to the trivial. I asked you to show me the way and here you stand before me God, burning and yet not consuming, but am I ready and truly willing to follow? I do not see myself parting any bodies of water in the near future, although the possibility of troubled waters is always present in Church work. As I doubt myself, I try to remain confident that when God calls, God not only provides but also equips. Like Moses, I do not feel overly confident, however, I go forward with the hope that God has a plan to use me in the here and now for just such a time as this (in times of uncertainty there is a certain comfort in tried and true religious/biblical clichés). Shoes off and hear we go!